Is There Anybody Out There?

So I was reviewing the analytics for the blog page today and noticed something interesting.  The image below depicts the URLs (web addresses)  of viewers of the blog over the past month.  As you can see, in the past month the blog had 50 hits from Russia, 4 from Germany and 1 from Latvia.

I would like to know if this is legit.  More specifically, are there really people in those countries that read the blog?  Or did someone accidentally stumble upon it?  That seems possible, but 55 times in the past month?  Maybe it's some computer spam thing and no one is really reading the blog in Russia. 

Or, perhaps we actually have people reading the blog in other countries.  After all, it's certainly plausible as we have INMATES in few countries.  But Latvia, Russia and Germany were not ones that I knew about. 

The reality of the situation is that I have no clue.  But, I would like to know the answer.  If you have an ideas, please let me know.  Or, better yet, if you are reading this and do not live in the United States, please post a comment. 

Service Industry Unite.

DAMN THE MAN!

INMATES - Congress is attempting to pass legislation that, despite it's plausible good intentions, could affect freedom of speech on the internet. If passed, the bills would make unauthorized media streaming a felony and hold the web publishers and hosting services responsible for curbing their users from posting copyright-infringed content.

What this means is that a wide range of online communities like YouTube, Twitter,Facebook and Life Behind Bars would have to censor users or get shut down and ordinary users could be imprisoned for five years for posting any copyrighted work.

Considering how much we value our ability to speak our minds, especially within this forum, I highly recommend you read more about this and if you decide you are against this legislation, click the link below and sign the petition (it takes less than 30 seconds).  Make your voice heard.

https://www.google.com/landing/takeaction/

Meeting Adjourned

Just had a multi-hour Parole Board meeting and I don't think I've ever been this excited about LBB before.  Things are coming together rather nicely for the company.  The website is almost ready.  Well, at least on the functionality side - which is the hard part.  Making the site look visually appealing will be easy.  We have The Warden for that. 

We have a phone conference with our website designer tomorrow night.  The purpose of the call is to discuss the status of the changes we asked him to make to the site.  From what I can tell, he has already made most of the changes.  I like the way the site works.  It's pretty easy to navigate and once the last few changes are made, it will be very user-friendly.

Anyway, the now that site is nearing the point where we can release it, we have a lot of new ideas.  The website is going to open a lot of doors for LBB.  Because of the site, we are going to be able to do things that just weren't possible before.  And tonight, The Parole Board came up with some really great ideas in our brainstorming session.  We got great use out of our white boards tonight. 

We discussed our ideas for marketing LBB and the most effective ways to recruit new INMATES.  That is a big topic for us.  The plan is to unite the service industry.  Not to just unite the service industry in Dallas.  Or just in Texas.  We want LBB to be global.  After all, the more INMATES we have, the more we can give back to the industry.

The Parole Board also talked about the various forms of media and entertainment we plan on venturing into.  Since day one, Life Behind Bars was an idea for sharing stories through a book and also a movie.  Well, those ideas have never gone away.  We left them on the back burner until the timing was right.  And although it's not quite that time just yet, we are getting a lot closer to venturing not only down those paths, but also into some areas that we never even considered years ago. 

Also, I had a phone conversation with someone today regarding investing in the company.  This person, who shall remain nameless for the time being, seems like a good person to have on your team.  I have been in communication with him over the past several months, but very sporadically.  Today though, was the first time we spoke at length and he is very interested in LBB.  Now The Parole Board has some work to do in order to present our thoughts to him on what it will take to get LBB to the next level, but we very well might have met the person that can make it happen. 

I would definitely say the LBB stock is on the rise.  With the ideas and dedication of The Parole Board plus the support of the INMATES...well, be ready for some great things to happen in 2012.  So INMATES, here's to all of us, as Life Behind Bars is just as much yours as it is ours.  Toast!   

Face Erased?

Two nights ago The Lifer was enjoying some beverages with his wife at The Back 9 - a bar in Addison.  Throughout the night, a guy named Phillip Byrd was hanging around The Lifer's table.  Apparently, this guy is a regular at The Back 9 and he is also in the service industry.  Although Phillip had never met anyone in The Lifer's group, that didn't stop him from buying several drinks and shots for everyone. 

Several hours into the drinking festivities, The Lifer happened to notice that Phillip was lurking suspiciously close to Mrs. Lifer's purse.  The Lifer did not see Phillip's hands on the purse, but either way, something seemed strange.  And at that exact moment, Phillip noticed The Lifer was staring at him and quickly offered to buy a round of shots.  Little did The Lifer know that this seemingly polite gesture was a nothing more than a distraction.

Accepting the offer, The Lifer headed to the bar.  But Phillip made a beeline to the bathroom first.  The Lifer's spidey senses alerted him and he quickly told Mrs. Lifer to check her purse.  Immediately, she noticed that her wallet was missing.  And it was right then that The Lifer went into full bore Bruce Banner mode. 

The Lifer kicked open the bathroom door and saw Phillip at the sink washing his thieving little hands.  "You fucking @#$%*%!," The Lifer said.  Phillip tried to talk smack, but before he could form a complete sentence, The Lifer grabbed the piece of shit by the throat with his left hand and unleashed a haymaker with his right hand that lifted Phillip several inches off the ground.

Falling hard onto the bathroom tile, Phillip was already seeing stars.  The Lifer pounced on top of Mr. Byrd and began to reenact the 1991 LAPD/Rodney King incident.  One after another, the left and right punches relentlessly pelleted Phillip's face with the tenacity of the infamous honey badger.
 

Eventually, some of The Lifer's friends were able to pull him off of Phillip, but by that point, Phillip's face was spewing blood.  The bar's security searched Phillip and found the wallet tucked into the back of his pants (just like a waiter tucks their leather into their pants when working).  Mr. Byrd was taken outside and sat on the curb waiting for the arrival of Addison's finest.

By this point, Mrs. Lifer was pissed.  So, she went outside and proceeded to tell Phillip her thoughts about the situation.  The Lifer walked outside just in time to hear Phillip call Mrs. Lifer a bitch.  That's right, even after getting his face decimated erased this guy was still running his mouth.  And he was so woozy, he couldn't even stand up.  But, without hesitating, The Lifer raised his steel toe motorcycle boot and stomped Phillip in head (think of the "THIS IS SPARTA" scene from the movie 300 and you'll understand the technique used by The Lifer).  Well, that knocked Phillip over just in time for the police to arrive, place him in handcuffs and take him to jail.

Since the incident, I have been trying to locate Mr. Phillip Byrd online, so that we can blast his image to all the INMATES.  There is a facebook profile for a Phillip Byrd, but it's not this guy.  This piece of shit works in the industry but he is not an INMATE.  Well, actually, I suppose he is an inmate now because he's in Lew Sterrett jail in Dallas County.  But you know what I mean. 

On a side note, INMATE Alexis Rolon had her wallet stolen from The Back 9 just two weeks before this incident, and from what I've heard, Phillip was in the bar that night as well.  I'm not a mathematician, but I can put two and two together. 



   

Developments

It's been another busy week for LBB.  Here are the latest developments:

Our web designer has a list of all the items that need to be implemented into the website.  He is taking care of these things I am hopefully that they will be done within a week.  Which means we could be looking at an official launch date at the start of February.  #fingerscrossed

We are in negotiations with a major company based in Dallas regarding the next event - which is going to be an INMATE appreciate event, just a little way for us to say thanks to all the INMATES for your support.  We have most of the details locked down and the premise is a Run Way Rock Show.  Bands, live models, good times.  The venue is most likely going to be Palladium and it will occur on Monday, March 5, 2012.  There will be no cover to attend and, if things go right in our negotiations, there will be no charge for beverages! 

I have a phone call with a liquor company rep tomorrow that has been trying to get in touch with us for sometime now.  I don't really know what the call is about, other than this rep wants to talk about pairing up with LBB in 2012.  I haven't heard of this particular company before, they are new (I think).  Their main product is a rum that is supposedly really good.  I love rum - drinking it makes me feel like a fucking pirate.  If we lock down a deal with this company, I am going to ask them for a parrot and a peg leg.

Also, the liquor company that we submitted our video to absolutely loved what they saw.  We have a meeting next week with a representative of the company to discuss plans for the Rock N Shot Comedy Tour.  They want to start working on a show in Chicago immediately.  We are also going to discuss what the future holds for LBB and this company.  I think good things are on the horizon. 

And finally, in case you missed it, LBB hit the 3,000 member mark this week.  That's right, we are now over 3,000 INMATES strong. 

That is all my friends.

Going Viral?

At approximately 4:50 p.m. this afternoon I received a phone call from The Warden.  He informed me that Life Behind Bars was just mentioned on the Russ Martin Show.  Not even a minute later, The Lifer was on the phone reciting the news. 

I have been listening to the Russ Martin Show since I commuted to the University of North Texas in the late 90s.  I would gladly listen to Russ and Howard Stern all day if given the choice to do so.  Anyway, needless to say, I was pretty excited.

I didn't hear it live but I am going to download the podcast and check it out asap.  I don't even know what was said, other than a LBB reference.  And truthfully, I don't care if it was good or bad.  It doesn't matter.  But what does matter is, we were mentioned on the Russ Martin Show which airs on 97.1 The Eagle (a big radio station in DFW).  It's publicity for LBB.  Thank you Russ.

I sent an email to the show's producer, Trey, briefly mentioning what LBB is.  I also attached a few articles out of the MOST WANTED List and the SPOTTED List for him to read.  I thought he might find them amusing.  Who knows, maybe one day we can get everyone on the show to take a Face Eraser shot with us.

So, TOAST to the first time LBB was ever mentioned on the radio. 

LBB Beta Site

The Parole Board is kicking it into high gear when it comes to the LBB website.  As many of you already know, the site is currently in Beta Mode (testing).  We spend countless hours tinkering with the site in an attempt to try to think of what it needs.  But, instead of us trying to determining everything it needs, we would rather get feedback from some INMATES. 

After all, it's the INMATES that will be using the site, so why shouldn't we get some input on various things you would like?  Also, if there are things that aren't working right, are hard to figure out, etc - well, we want to know about that.  The plan is to migrate the INMATES off FaceBook and onto our site, for LBB purposes only of course.  Obviously, we aren't trying to tell people to stop using FaceBook altogether.  Rather, we just want the INMATES to use our website when dealing with LBB stuff.  Having our own site is absolutely essential.  By doing so, we will have complete control over how things work and look (FYI - we will also have a smartphone app that you can download for free in order to conveniently access the site).

Currently, there are four INMATES that have asked me to update the Job Release list with their information.  But, FaceBook is not cooperating and will not allow us to update the list.  In fact, I can't even create a new job posting/job search list.  And these are the little things that drive me crazy.  Don't get me wrong, FaceBook has been pivotal to the growth of LBB.  However, I won't be happy until we are not longer operating under the parameters of another forum.

Anyway, the point is, we are working nonstop on the website and would like to hear what you have to say/think.  If you are interested in obtaining access to the Beta Site in order to let us know your thoughts and recommendations, just let me know and I'll get you access. 

One disclaimer though, we are currently only working on the way the site works.  Functionality is our main task at the moment.  After the site runs the way we want it to, then we will make it ascetically pleasing.  So, just note that the site looks nothing like it will once we launch it.  The colors, fonts, everything will change.  We know how it will look but aren't worried about that right now because it doesn't matter how nice it looks if it doesn't work. 

BATTLESHOTS (The Drinking Game)

INMATE Patrick Zimmerman designed and built the coolest drinking game ever.  It's an alcoholic twist on the classic game Battleship.  For those of you that aren't in the know, Patrick donated the game to LBB so that we could hold a silent auction at the New Year's Casino Riot event last week. 

The winning bid went to INMATE AJ Hammel in the amount of $299, which will be donated to the Autism Speaks charity.  Congratulations to AJ, I have no doubt you will enjoy the game.  Can't wait to play you sometime. 

Below are pictures of the build.  Thanks to Patrick's creative prowess and his generosity, we are that much closer to finding a cure for autism.  Toast!    

2012 Update

The Parole Board just received an update on the video we submitted to a major liquor company in hopes of obtaining funding for 2012.  The first wave of people at the company loved the video and the idea of the Rock N Shot Comedy Tour.  One of the managers in the company wants to have the comedy tour in several cities beginning early this year.  To steal a line from Borat, "Great Success!" 

The next step is the video and accompanying informational sheet will be presented to the liquor company's brand team for their feedback.  Assuming that goes well, we could very well be planning the tour in no time at all.  Definitely a big step towards where we want LBB to go.

Also, we have been speaking with a large Dallas company about combining forces in 2012.  I don't have all the details to release just yet, but we are trying to negotiate an INMATE appreciate event, hopefully to occur by March.  This could be a huge event and it would serve as a way to say thank you to the INMATES for making LBB what it is, and more importantly, what it will become.   

For now, that's all the information that I have.  As things develop, I will keep everyone updated.  

The Glass Is Half Full

The past couple of days a few INMATES have informed The Parole Board about some issues they encountered at the New Year's Casino Riot event this past Sunday.  Many of the people voicing their frustrations have some legitimate grounds to complain about.  Someone was roofied, another person had a LBB hoodie stolen, other people stated that they were treated poorly by the venue's staff. 

All of this caused The Parole Board to become a little upset.  We never want to host an event where even one INMATE has a bad experience.  The positive vibes that radiate from our events are truly one of a kind.  And of course, we want to build upon that not deteriorate from it.  In order to prevent such things from happening again, we have investigated this as best as possible. 

Unfortunately, it's going to be extremely hard to find out who put roofies in a drink or who stole another person's LBB contraband.  The issues people experienced with the venue are a different matter.  We have expressed these to the owners of the venue and I know they are working with some of the INMATES to make things right.  We vow to never knowingly have an event at a place that would treat our members/friends poorly. 

That being said, I hope these issues do not overshadow the success of the event.  From what I can tell, even those that informed me about some of the above issues still had a lot of fun.  Numerous people have told me what a great time they had on Sunday.  The Parole Board welcomes everyone's thoughts and opinions so that we can continually improve and make things better for the INMATES.  However, let's not lose sight of the fact that a lot of planning, work and money went into this event and, at the end of the night, numerous INMATES walked away with some great prizes from the raffle and we raised $1,500.00 for the Autism Speaks Charity.