The Las Vegas Theory

One of the many things The Parole Board is working on is our pilot episode of our tv show.  Imagine Entourage meets the movie Waiting.  Anyway, we have been tossing around ideas for several years.  We initially were working on a script for a movie, but now things have shifted a little bit. Anyway, we envision a scene where a bartender is either talking to another bartender or to a bar guest, about how to have more success in the dating world.

The Las Vegas Theory is a metaphor used to teach guys how to increase their odds of having sex.  It started because I had a bar regular (Andrew) that was constantly pursuing one girl.  He'd come into the bar, frustrated, talking about how he and this girl have been hanging out for a while and nothing had happened sexually.   To me, this girl didn't really seem to be that interested in him, but he was not going to be deterred.  They spent time together, talked on the phone, etc but she never did sleep with him.  In order to help ease his suffering, one night at the bar, I told him that he needed to embrace the Las Vegas Theory.

The particular scene we are working on will mirror the situation above.  When the bartender mentions the Las Vegas Theory, the bar regular (or other bartender) asks what in the hell that means.  To which the bartender replies, "Let me explain..."

The world of dating can be compared to Las Vegas.  In Vegas, you and your buddies cruise through the streets en route to the casinos.  A "casino" in the dating world is a bar (FYI, this is where the metaphors commence).  Your friends might know about a really good casino they want you to check out.  Maybe you know of a casino that your friends haven't heard of.  Or, better yet, you all decide to check out a casino none of you have been to.  Regardless, when you walk into a casino, what do you see?

Slots.  And a lot of them.  The most popular casinos have plenty of slot machines (women) to choose from.  So, you walk into the casino and begin scouting out all the slots until you find one that catches your eye.  Sometimes you waste no time and immediately approach the slot machine.  But other times, you need some liquid courage first. 

Nevertheless, you find a slot machine that appears to have potential and you make your move.  What happens next?  You invest time and money into said slot machine, hoping for a big "pay out."  Sometimes you get lucky and the slot machine immediately hits.  But, as we all know, Vegas wasn't built on winners.  And in the world of dating, there are no sure things.  That usually means you will have to invest at least some time and money before you see a return. 

So, how can you increase your odds of winning?  Simple.  You have to play multiple machines.  Think about it, in Vegas, ever see those old ladies monopolizing an entire row of slots?  Of course you have, because they all do it.  And why?  Well, you don't need to be a statistics major to comprehend the notion of playing more machines equates to better odds of winning.

If you only play one machine, you are severely limiting the amount of potential pay outs you could receive.  Think about it, some machines will be "out of order" when you feel like playing.   Other machines might be occupied by someone else.  Moreover, some machines may not reciprocate anything despite all your efforts.  And yet, for some reason, you continue to spend time with that machine, hoping things will change (just like Andrew did). 

The point is, if you have multiple slot machines at your disposal, those issues won't be detrimental to your success.  For example, if Machine A is out of commission or just not paying off, move on to Machine B. For beginners, it's probably best to stick with only 2 - 3 machines in your rotation.  Once you learn to handle a few machines, you can begin increase that number.  Over time, you should be able to develop a natural rhythm with the machines and thus, experience pay outs on a consistent basis.

So, that's the general idea of the story that the bartender will tell someone.  The plan is to have a person try out the theory and fail miserably.  Nothing like humor at someone else's expense.