Attention all INMATES!

Attention all INMATES, The Parole Board has a special message for you.  It's time to rally for one of our own.  Danielle "Dani" Klein, a fellow INMATE, has been diagnosed with Guillain-Barre Syndrome, which is an extremely rare disorder that causes your immune system to attack your nerves.  The initial sign of Guillain-Barre Syndrome is a tingling and weakness in your extremities which can eventually lead to the paralyzation of the entire body.  As of right now, there is no known cure for the disorder.  However, with treatment, the symptoms can be eased.

For those of you who don't know Dani, she has been an INMATE for nearly two decades.  She's also married to Big Bill Escanlar, an INMATE icon.  But, with the onset of the disorder, it's been extremely difficult for Dani to continue working as a bar manager and bartender at Del Frisco's in Ft. Worth.  However, she doesn't sit around feeling sorrow for herself.  Instead, she puts her focus on staying positive and taking care of her three amazing daughters.  Dani's courage, strength and positive outlook is truly inspirational.

In order to help raise money for Dani and her family, there's going to be an event held in her honor on Tuesday, October 21, 2014 at The Back 9 in Addison, Texas.  There will be $2.00 wells all night long and also a live auction to help raise money.  Please come out and help show your support for one of our own.  If you can't make it out, you can still help by donating money online here and also on the LBB website.  Keep your head up Dani, we are here for you.  TOAST!

CALLING ALL INMATES

Occasionally I hear a story that breaks my heart while at the same time completely infuriates me.  I am about to share one such story with you now. 

On January 5, 2014, 69 year old Dallas resident Luis Rocha was brutally attacked leaving a Campisi's restaurant after picking up a to go order.  Mr. Rocha was not looking to start a fight that evening.  Nor was he running his mouth acting like an asshole.  Nope.  Not even close.  All he did was order a pizza and on the way back to his car, 3 dickless, spineless, complete wastes-of-sperm pricks decided to beat Mr. Rocha nearly to death. 

Mr. Rocha suffered broken back, broken ribs, a broken arm, a broken clavicle, a broken scapula and a shattered jaw as a result of what these fucking douchebags did to him.  What makes the entire incident perplexing is that Mr. Rocha's iPod, wallet, keys and other valuables were untouched.  So, it appears that the 3 fucktards decided to unleash a beating on an elderly man for no real reason. 

Mr. Rocha's son, Lou, has been an INMATE for 25 years.  So, naturally, other INMATES are rising up to show support for Mr. Rocha.  The Parole Board is asking that all INMATES come to The Back 9 in Addison tomorrow evening for a fund raiser for Mr. Rocha.   The event begins at 9:00pm and there will be $3.00 Wells, Calls and Domestics and $3.50 Crown & Down for all INMATES.  Also, there will be a bikini contest.  So, bring your wallets to help donate money for the Rocha family and prepare to have a good time while helping out a great man.

The police are still looking for the individuals that assaulted Mr. Rocha.  If you have any information about the incident, please contact the Dallas Police Department at 214-671-3001.    And, if those Tommy Toughnut mother fuckers that assaulted Mr. Rocha happen to read this blog, please contact The Parole Board.  We have baseball bats, 12" survival knives, assault rifles, countless pistols, an axe, a sledgehammer, thousands of rounds and a Hulk (aka The Lifer).  So, if you want to tango, I'm your Huckleberry.

Face Erased?

Two nights ago The Lifer was enjoying some beverages with his wife at The Back 9 - a bar in Addison.  Throughout the night, a guy named Phillip Byrd was hanging around The Lifer's table.  Apparently, this guy is a regular at The Back 9 and he is also in the service industry.  Although Phillip had never met anyone in The Lifer's group, that didn't stop him from buying several drinks and shots for everyone. 

Several hours into the drinking festivities, The Lifer happened to notice that Phillip was lurking suspiciously close to Mrs. Lifer's purse.  The Lifer did not see Phillip's hands on the purse, but either way, something seemed strange.  And at that exact moment, Phillip noticed The Lifer was staring at him and quickly offered to buy a round of shots.  Little did The Lifer know that this seemingly polite gesture was a nothing more than a distraction.

Accepting the offer, The Lifer headed to the bar.  But Phillip made a beeline to the bathroom first.  The Lifer's spidey senses alerted him and he quickly told Mrs. Lifer to check her purse.  Immediately, she noticed that her wallet was missing.  And it was right then that The Lifer went into full bore Bruce Banner mode. 

The Lifer kicked open the bathroom door and saw Phillip at the sink washing his thieving little hands.  "You fucking @#$%*%!," The Lifer said.  Phillip tried to talk smack, but before he could form a complete sentence, The Lifer grabbed the piece of shit by the throat with his left hand and unleashed a haymaker with his right hand that lifted Phillip several inches off the ground.

Falling hard onto the bathroom tile, Phillip was already seeing stars.  The Lifer pounced on top of Mr. Byrd and began to reenact the 1991 LAPD/Rodney King incident.  One after another, the left and right punches relentlessly pelleted Phillip's face with the tenacity of the infamous honey badger.
 

Eventually, some of The Lifer's friends were able to pull him off of Phillip, but by that point, Phillip's face was spewing blood.  The bar's security searched Phillip and found the wallet tucked into the back of his pants (just like a waiter tucks their leather into their pants when working).  Mr. Byrd was taken outside and sat on the curb waiting for the arrival of Addison's finest.

By this point, Mrs. Lifer was pissed.  So, she went outside and proceeded to tell Phillip her thoughts about the situation.  The Lifer walked outside just in time to hear Phillip call Mrs. Lifer a bitch.  That's right, even after getting his face decimated erased this guy was still running his mouth.  And he was so woozy, he couldn't even stand up.  But, without hesitating, The Lifer raised his steel toe motorcycle boot and stomped Phillip in head (think of the "THIS IS SPARTA" scene from the movie 300 and you'll understand the technique used by The Lifer).  Well, that knocked Phillip over just in time for the police to arrive, place him in handcuffs and take him to jail.

Since the incident, I have been trying to locate Mr. Phillip Byrd online, so that we can blast his image to all the INMATES.  There is a facebook profile for a Phillip Byrd, but it's not this guy.  This piece of shit works in the industry but he is not an INMATE.  Well, actually, I suppose he is an inmate now because he's in Lew Sterrett jail in Dallas County.  But you know what I mean. 

On a side note, INMATE Alexis Rolon had her wallet stolen from The Back 9 just two weeks before this incident, and from what I've heard, Phillip was in the bar that night as well.  I'm not a mathematician, but I can put two and two together.