LBB Drama - Don't Start None, Won't Be None

Up until recently, joining LBB was pretty simple.  We already considered those in the service industry as INMATES, so just by doing your job, you were part of LBB.  But if you wanted to participate in the online discussions, then you had to request to be added to the group.  However, once you made the request, The Parole Board would add you and that was it.  About as simple as it gets.

But, being simple doesn't always translate into being better.  And it seems that lately, some individuals have infiltrated the group under the guise of being an INMATE.  Said individuals have shown certain posts and comments made by their co-workers on LBB to the management at their cells.  This, of course, has caused some problems for those involved.

Yes, it's true that if you are, or were, connected to the service industry than you belong on LBB.  But, apparently, we need to be more specific about a few unwritten rules of conduct.  However, with this article, I suppose they're no longer unwritten rules.  Regardless, LBB is a place for those in the industry.  Bartenders, waiters/waitresses, cocktail servers, security, chefs and cooks, bussers, even managers and owners.  You are given the forum to discuss what's on your mind without the fear of repercussions of what you say. 

Of course, some will quickly point out that, if you are posting something on the internet, then you are assuming the risk of whatever fallout ensues thereafter.  And I can't disagree with that assessment.  Also, I realize that there is always more than one side to a story, and I'm sure the individuals that have informed upper management about posts on LBB have their reasons for doing so.  Whether anyone else agrees with it or understands it.

But, openly sharing your thoughts and opinions is at the center of what LBB is about.  Once people begin to worry about their words, we lose the ambiance that we've grown so accustom to.  If you have to rethink each thought you want to share, LBB will quickly become a shell of what it once was.  Being reluctant to express your beliefs for fear of what might follow is a plague that will spread like wildfire if we don't take active steps to prevent it.

And so,The Parole Board is doing what we can to help this problem.  Instead of just adding anyone to the group that made the request to join, we are now screening applicants.  Once a person asks to be added to LBB, The Lifer interviews the person in order to ascertain how the individual is connected to the industry, why they want to be a part of LBB, etc. 

We believe this will help reduce the issues that some INMATES have experienced lately.  Of course, we won't be able to catch each person at the door.  And that's where you come in.  If you know someone that doesn't belong in the group, send a message to The Parole Board about it.  Several INMATES have already done this and we've removed the pretenders from LBB.  We need to police ourselves and while we are at it, we must have the mutual understand that this group is for our benefit.  Whether it's strictly from an entertainment perspective or as an emotional outlet, LBB is your canvas to discuss your thoughts.  Don't ruin it for everyone by selling out your fellow INMATES.        

In closing, I'll leave with the words from Nas' song Made You Look...

"Don't start none, won't be none."

Man vs. Booze

Move out of the way Adam Richman because The Lifer has taken your food challenges to a new level.  Last year, to celebrate 11/11/11, The Lifer decided to take 11 shots of Rumplemintz at 11 p.m.  Yes, that's right, 11 shots of Rumple all within the time span of about two minutes.  And get this, afterwards, he still had to bartend for over 3 hours. 

Well, today is 12/12/12 and in attempt to entice The Lifer to down 12 shots of Rumple at midnight, The Warden went deep into the LBB vault to find the incredible video footage from last year.  If you haven't seen this yet, you won't believe your eyes.  And if you've seen it before, you'll be just as impressed as you were the first time.  Have a look...

                          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqiPDkIEF94

Unfortunately, The Lifer has proclaimed that he will not succumb to the pressure of taking 12 shots tonight.  Apparently, his liver retired shortly after the video was made and The Lifer is now a Type 2 Diabetic.  Call us selfish, but The Warden and I till think he should top last year's feat.  Perhaps with enough comments to the video on our YouTube channel, Life Behind Bars News, he will accept the challenge.   

Staying Connected

INMATES - just wanted to make sure that you all have The Parole Boards contact information.  With so many ways to stay connected, here's how you can reach us:


The Lifer

• Email:     thelifer@lbbinmate.com
• Twitter:  @scuba74

The Warden

• Email:    thewarden@lbbinmate.com
• Twitter:  @anthonycmorel  / @thewarden_LBB

The Lawyer

• Email:    thelawyer@lbbinmate.com
• Twitter:  @thelawyer_LBB

If you haven't been to the LBB website, you can find it here - lifebehindbarsisthebomb.com.  You can also email any questions, suggestions or comments to info@lbbinmate.com.

Toast.

Guess Who's Back?

Well, it's been a while.  Too long, some might say.  But please believe that still waters run deep and despite the lack of updates on the Life Behind Bars blog, The Parole Board has been busy.  Actually busy doesn't adequately describe what has been going on behind the scenes.  And that is exactly why this blog needs to be resurrected.

I just left a Parole Board meeting with The Lifer and The Warden and wanted to take a few minutes to let the INMATES know what's on the horizon.  Many of you might be aware that the Life Behind Bars teaser video premiered at the Magnolia Theater recently.  For those of you that aren't in the know, the LBB teaser is a short video that serves as a preview for our upcoming project (below are a few screen shots from the video).

The Parole Board is really excited about the teaser video because we are finally turning a decade long project into a reality.  We have been working on a script for a show about Life Behind Bars for years.    Taking notes during and after bar shifts since the start of the new millennium, the plan from day one has been to create a show that details the lives of INMATES by taking an authentic look into the service industry lifestyle.  The show will feature several unique characters each complete with their own struggles from balancing bartending with working in the corporate world, to dealing with relationship problems, to just trying to make ends meet, all while living one shot at a time.  Life Behind Bars the show will serve as an insider look at life in the service industry and will have an Entourage-esque vibe. 

We are currently putting together the final pieces before we commence our global campaign to raise enough capital to complete the project.  As of now, we have a lot of prospects and many interested investors.  However, before we can go down that path, we have a little more housekeeping matters to attend to.  But, don't fret, we will keep you in the loop and just in case you missed the premiere of the teaser video, you'll get a chance to see it very soon.

Until next time...

- The Lawyer  

Face Erased?

Two nights ago The Lifer was enjoying some beverages with his wife at The Back 9 - a bar in Addison.  Throughout the night, a guy named Phillip Byrd was hanging around The Lifer's table.  Apparently, this guy is a regular at The Back 9 and he is also in the service industry.  Although Phillip had never met anyone in The Lifer's group, that didn't stop him from buying several drinks and shots for everyone. 

Several hours into the drinking festivities, The Lifer happened to notice that Phillip was lurking suspiciously close to Mrs. Lifer's purse.  The Lifer did not see Phillip's hands on the purse, but either way, something seemed strange.  And at that exact moment, Phillip noticed The Lifer was staring at him and quickly offered to buy a round of shots.  Little did The Lifer know that this seemingly polite gesture was a nothing more than a distraction.

Accepting the offer, The Lifer headed to the bar.  But Phillip made a beeline to the bathroom first.  The Lifer's spidey senses alerted him and he quickly told Mrs. Lifer to check her purse.  Immediately, she noticed that her wallet was missing.  And it was right then that The Lifer went into full bore Bruce Banner mode. 

The Lifer kicked open the bathroom door and saw Phillip at the sink washing his thieving little hands.  "You fucking @#$%*%!," The Lifer said.  Phillip tried to talk smack, but before he could form a complete sentence, The Lifer grabbed the piece of shit by the throat with his left hand and unleashed a haymaker with his right hand that lifted Phillip several inches off the ground.

Falling hard onto the bathroom tile, Phillip was already seeing stars.  The Lifer pounced on top of Mr. Byrd and began to reenact the 1991 LAPD/Rodney King incident.  One after another, the left and right punches relentlessly pelleted Phillip's face with the tenacity of the infamous honey badger.
 

Eventually, some of The Lifer's friends were able to pull him off of Phillip, but by that point, Phillip's face was spewing blood.  The bar's security searched Phillip and found the wallet tucked into the back of his pants (just like a waiter tucks their leather into their pants when working).  Mr. Byrd was taken outside and sat on the curb waiting for the arrival of Addison's finest.

By this point, Mrs. Lifer was pissed.  So, she went outside and proceeded to tell Phillip her thoughts about the situation.  The Lifer walked outside just in time to hear Phillip call Mrs. Lifer a bitch.  That's right, even after getting his face decimated erased this guy was still running his mouth.  And he was so woozy, he couldn't even stand up.  But, without hesitating, The Lifer raised his steel toe motorcycle boot and stomped Phillip in head (think of the "THIS IS SPARTA" scene from the movie 300 and you'll understand the technique used by The Lifer).  Well, that knocked Phillip over just in time for the police to arrive, place him in handcuffs and take him to jail.

Since the incident, I have been trying to locate Mr. Phillip Byrd online, so that we can blast his image to all the INMATES.  There is a facebook profile for a Phillip Byrd, but it's not this guy.  This piece of shit works in the industry but he is not an INMATE.  Well, actually, I suppose he is an inmate now because he's in Lew Sterrett jail in Dallas County.  But you know what I mean. 

On a side note, INMATE Alexis Rolon had her wallet stolen from The Back 9 just two weeks before this incident, and from what I've heard, Phillip was in the bar that night as well.  I'm not a mathematician, but I can put two and two together. 



   

Going Viral?

At approximately 4:50 p.m. this afternoon I received a phone call from The Warden.  He informed me that Life Behind Bars was just mentioned on the Russ Martin Show.  Not even a minute later, The Lifer was on the phone reciting the news. 

I have been listening to the Russ Martin Show since I commuted to the University of North Texas in the late 90s.  I would gladly listen to Russ and Howard Stern all day if given the choice to do so.  Anyway, needless to say, I was pretty excited.

I didn't hear it live but I am going to download the podcast and check it out asap.  I don't even know what was said, other than a LBB reference.  And truthfully, I don't care if it was good or bad.  It doesn't matter.  But what does matter is, we were mentioned on the Russ Martin Show which airs on 97.1 The Eagle (a big radio station in DFW).  It's publicity for LBB.  Thank you Russ.

I sent an email to the show's producer, Trey, briefly mentioning what LBB is.  I also attached a few articles out of the MOST WANTED List and the SPOTTED List for him to read.  I thought he might find them amusing.  Who knows, maybe one day we can get everyone on the show to take a Face Eraser shot with us.

So, TOAST to the first time LBB was ever mentioned on the radio. 

More Money, MORE Problems?

I had a conversation with The Lifer tonight that was rather entertaining.  The first part of the call was strictly business.  We were discussing numerous details about the upcoming event.  It seems The Parole Board will not be getting much sleep in the next few days! 

The last minutes of the call were spent laughing about how broke we are because of LBB.  You see, each one of us on The Parole Board puts in a lot of money, time and effort into the company.  To say that we are passionate about LBB would be an vast understatement.    

At times, we all question whether we are going to be able to get LBB off the ground as we envision.  We never did start this to make money.  The original idea was just to share some stories.  That's been the plan for years.  But, since the formation of the facebook group, things have accelerated faster than any of us could believe.  The growth in popularity has pushed us creatively and allowed us to conjure up some great concepts/ideas for the future (in my opinion).  However, in order to take LBB where we want to go, we will definitely need money.

So, there have been several instances during The Parole Board's daily meetings where at least one of us mentions the fact that we need more money to take LBB to the next level.  We know we are on the right path, but it's a difficult one.  This is not a company funded by investors.  There is no bank loan.  And we aren't wealthy individuals.  In fact, we are all broke.  And we are putting in a lot of hours into the company.  I know that I am personally putting in about 30 hours a week in LBB related work.  I would say The Lifer and The Warden each work at least that much on the company also.  This is, of course, in addition to our other jobs.

Without a steady cash flow we will never be able to start our non-profit organization (charity).  We want to create a charity that will help raise money to pay for living expenses of INMATES that are injured/sick and cannot work.  Most INMATES, if they aren't working, don't have a way to pay bills - the plan is to help them out.  Maybe we won't be able to pay too much to each individual person, or maybe you have to work a certain number of hours per week to qualify, but some assistance is better than nothing.  We don't have all the details worked out yet, but what we do know is that if the Screen Actors Guild offers catastrophic insurance for actors, INMATES should have something similar.  We also know that it takes money to run a charity.     

Anyway, the point is, we have a lot of ideas that will help benefit the service industry but without money, none of those will happen.  This was discussed in tonight's conversation with The Lifer.  We laughed about how much we work for nothing.  Running LBB is akin to unrequited love because we all love LBB despite the company not showing us much love in return.  Each dollar we make goes back into the company with what seems like $4 or $5 of our own money!  The Lifer said in jest that he's so broke he can't even afford to replace his old ragged boxers so he's just going to have to start wearing the LBB boyshorts.  That proceeded to start us down a path of laughing so much that my stomach hurt.  And we ended up the call on a positive note. 

Anyway, I'm not even sure what the point of this article is.  I do know that the best part about running a business with two other people that are as dedicated as you is, knowing that every minute I spend working on LBB, my business partners are doing the same thing.  And I can promise you this, the fact that the INMATES have been so supportive of the company helps motivate The Parole Board to work even harder.  Accomplishing our goals means every single person that has supported LBB will benefit and have fun along the way. Toast! 

Rock N Shot Comedy Tour

Just got off the phone with The Warden.  Another hour plus phone conversation.  I talk more on the phone to The Warden and The Lifer than anyone else, even my girlfriend.  Anyway, The Warden is hard at work right now doing his graphic design thing.  LBB has been speaking to a few different liquor companies recently about sponsorship.  One of the companies would like us to create a short video that conveys our message and our goals.  This video will be played for the decision makers of said liquor company in hopes of LBB receiving some financial backing in 2012.

One of the big goals The Parole Board has for the upcoming year is to take the Rock N Shot Comedy Show nationwide, thus becoming the Rock N Shot Comedy Tour.  We already have INMATES in numerous cities wells that are willing to help facilitate this.  The plan is to take one band and comedian from Dallas on the road with us and fill the other spots with local talent from each city well.  The only obstacle standing in our way is money.  And that's where we turn to the sponsors.  

The deadline for the video is right around the corner.  Thus far, negotiations with this liquor company have been painless.  I hope the trend continues.  Either way, we will know sometime in January whether or not this particular company will be part of the tour. 

For now, we just need to focus on delivering a quality video.  Thankfully The Warden is a creative genius when it comes to visual arts because we have a lot riding on this.  If The Lifer and I were forced to create the video on our own, it would have the production quality comparable to that of the music videos my six year old daughter makes with her Fisher Price camcorder.