I had a conversation with The Lifer tonight that was rather entertaining. The first part of the call was strictly business. We were discussing numerous details about the upcoming event. It seems The Parole Board will not be getting much sleep in the next few days!
The last minutes of the call were spent laughing about how broke we are because of LBB. You see, each one of us on The Parole Board puts in a lot of money, time and effort into the company. To say that we are passionate about LBB would be an vast understatement.
At times, we all question whether we are going to be able to get LBB off the ground as we envision. We never did start this to make money. The original idea was just to share some stories. That's been the plan for years. But, since the formation of the facebook group, things have accelerated faster than any of us could believe. The growth in popularity has pushed us creatively and allowed us to conjure up some great concepts/ideas for the future (in my opinion). However, in order to take LBB where we want to go, we will definitely need money.
So, there have been several instances during The Parole Board's daily meetings where at least one of us mentions the fact that we need more money to take LBB to the next level. We know we are on the right path, but it's a difficult one. This is not a company funded by investors. There is no bank loan. And we aren't wealthy individuals. In fact, we are all broke. And we are putting in a lot of hours into the company. I know that I am personally putting in about 30 hours a week in LBB related work. I would say The Lifer and The Warden each work at least that much on the company also. This is, of course, in addition to our other jobs.
Without a steady cash flow we will never be able to start our non-profit organization (charity). We want to create a charity that will help raise money to pay for living expenses of INMATES that are injured/sick and cannot work. Most INMATES, if they aren't working, don't have a way to pay bills - the plan is to help them out. Maybe we won't be able to pay too much to each individual person, or maybe you have to work a certain number of hours per week to qualify, but some assistance is better than nothing. We don't have all the details worked out yet, but what we do know is that if the Screen Actors Guild offers catastrophic insurance for actors, INMATES should have something similar. We also know that it takes money to run a charity.
Anyway, the point is, we have a lot of ideas that will help benefit the service industry but without money, none of those will happen. This was discussed in tonight's conversation with The Lifer. We laughed about how much we work for nothing. Running LBB is akin to unrequited love because we all love LBB despite the company not showing us much love in return. Each dollar we make goes back into the company with what seems like $4 or $5 of our own money! The Lifer said in jest that he's so broke he can't even afford to replace his old ragged boxers so he's just going to have to start wearing the LBB boyshorts. That proceeded to start us down a path of laughing so much that my stomach hurt. And we ended up the call on a positive note.
Anyway, I'm not even sure what the point of this article is. I do know that the best part about running a business with two other people that are as dedicated as you is, knowing that every minute I spend working on LBB, my business partners are doing the same thing. And I can promise you this, the fact that the INMATES have been so supportive of the company helps motivate The Parole Board to work even harder. Accomplishing our goals means every single person that has supported LBB will benefit and have fun along the way. Toast!
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Countdown To Sunday
We are only 4 days away from the New Year's Casino Riot. The Parole Board is beyond excited about this event. The next 96 hours are going to be a stressful, whirlwind marathon of final preparations. We have been on the phone constantly collecting donations for the raffle and getting all the last minute details ready for the party.
I spoke with INMATE Patrick Zimmerman who is working furiously to complete the BATTLESHOTS drinking game for the event. In case you don't know, the plan is to have a silent auction for the game with all the proceeds going to Autism Speaks. Big shout-out to Patrick for this donation! Be sure to bring extra cash for the auction as this item is going to be quite popular.
I hope all the INMATES are as excited as The Parole Board is about this Sunday. To our knowledge, this is the first time the service industry will get their own NYE party, which is long overdue. So, bring your lucky rabbit's foot and get ready to have a blast gambling, drinking, celebrating and welcoming in 2012. Toast!
I spoke with INMATE Patrick Zimmerman who is working furiously to complete the BATTLESHOTS drinking game for the event. In case you don't know, the plan is to have a silent auction for the game with all the proceeds going to Autism Speaks. Big shout-out to Patrick for this donation! Be sure to bring extra cash for the auction as this item is going to be quite popular.
I hope all the INMATES are as excited as The Parole Board is about this Sunday. To our knowledge, this is the first time the service industry will get their own NYE party, which is long overdue. So, bring your lucky rabbit's foot and get ready to have a blast gambling, drinking, celebrating and welcoming in 2012. Toast!
Friday, December 23, 2011
The Laptop Situation
Wednesday was a scary time for The Parole Board. As I stated in a previous post, we have been working on a video that details what Life Behind Bars is all about. This video will be presented to a major liquor company in hopes of getting funding in 2012 to help expand LBB. Needless to say, there is a lot riding on this.
So there I am at work, drinking my coffee and editing some pictures that are going into the video. I start to notice that my track pad wasn’t cooperating with me. When I would try to click on something it would act like I was holding the clicker down and would drag stuff as I was moving the pad. This was really making it hard for me to flow through my creative ideas and it was pissing me off! It slowly grew worse till my clicker didn’t work at all. So now I have no clicker and a deadline to meet with the LBB promo video. There was only one thing to do, drop everything and go to the apple store…to the LBB mobile!
It was approximately 10:00 a.m. and I had just sat down at my desk to commence working. Before I could even enjoy my morning coffee, I received a phone call from The Warden about an issue. He said that the track pad on his Mac wasn't functioning properly. The track pad (for those of you wondering) is the little square on a MacBook laptop that serves as the mouse. He said that he was going to the Apple store to have them look at it. Although the entire contents of the video and the software needed to complete the video were on the laptop, I wasn't too concerned about the situation as it was just the track pad malfunctioning. Or so I thought.
So now I have taken my lunch break a little early to go to the mall, right before Christmas, and hang out in the most populated store, the Apple store. I make my appointment with the Genius Bar and this little kid comes out to help me. This kid looked like Peter Parker and acted like PeeWee Herman. They asked me what the problem was. I explained and then they ran some tests. The kid said that the track pad wasn’t working (no shit) and that my Mac is no longer under warranty. He explained and that I would have to buy a mouse for $40 or I can replace the track pad for $80.
He got a mouse and plugged it in only to find out that the mouse wasn’t clicking either…WTF?! So, PeeWee Parker took my Mac back into the back to run more test. When he came out he said that for the mouse to work, they would have to shut off the track pad completely. I agreed for him to turn the track pad off and send me on my way. Knowing that I had a bluetooth mouse back at home that I could go and get, I headed that way so I could start using my Mac and get back to the LBB video.
After lunch, I spoke with The Warden about the laptop and things had not improved. He tried to inform me what was going on, but when it comes to computer stuff, I don't speak the lingo very well. All I gathered from the conversation was the computer was still not working and The Warden was headed back to the Apple store.
I get home, grab my mouse and start to sync my mouse up to my laptop. But, I can’t use my track pad so I can’t hook up my mouse. I then realize that I have to go back to the Apple store to use a mouse to get this hooked up. I hop in my ride and head back. When I get there I don’t even talk to anyone, I just go up to a Mac that has a mouse, unplug the mouse and plug it into mine. I set up my bluetooth mouse then I jet!
The Warden calls me and says that he just left the Apple store and all systems were go. Immediately it felt like a huge weight was lifted off me as the fate of our company is riding squarely on this video. Things are good, I finally relax. At least for a little while.
I went to go and visit some of my INMATES up at Social 121 to drop off some bar keys. When I got there they handed me a shot of Rumple and my normal Stoli and soda. So I decide to grab my Mac and do a little work at the bar. When I open up my computer and get it going I soon find out that my keyboard does not work at all. So now I am stuck with a Mac that has a functioning mouse but I can’t type anything or use any of my commands.
I left work around 6:15 p.m. and got a call from The Warden. Guess what?! He was going back to the Apple store. That makes a hat-trick of trips to Apple in one day. I began to wonder if I was being punked. But, there was no Ashton Kutcher. Nor were there any camera crews popping out of nowhere like Vietcong soldiers in 'Nam. Oh no. And just like plot of The Blair Witch Project, the laptop situation grew worse with each passing minute.
In fact, the status of the laptop situation was elevated to code red. The Warden and I were doing our best to keep our composure. However, all I could focus on was that of all the times for a computer to act up, it happens a few days before the biggest deadline of our lives. With that in mind, The Warden returned to the Apple store while I waited on pins and needles for an update.
I take the shot, suck the Stoli and soda down, jump in my ride and head back to the Apple store (AGAIN) before they close. Luckily, once at the Apple store, they were able to get my keyboard functioning properly. I'm not sure what time I ended up leaving, but I do know that I spent my whole day dealing with the laptop situation - three trips to the Apple store during the busiest shopping season of the year left me in serious need of alcohol. I called The Lawyer and let him know that we are good and that I'd meet him at the bar in 15 minutes.
I got the call around 8:00 p.m. and The Warden said that finally, everything was working properly. I let out a huge sigh of relief. That past two hours were spent wondering how we were going to explain the mishap to the liquor company and questioning whether or not they'd be understaning and, more importanly, wondering if they would still give us a chance to redeem ourselves. Anyway, I could tell by the sound in his voice that the laptop situation rendered The Warden weak and in critical need of rumple. We made plans to meet at a bar and drink the day into oblivion. Never a dull moment for The Parole Board.
[The Warden]
It was approximately 10:00 a.m. and I had just sat down at my desk to commence working. Before I could even enjoy my morning coffee, I received a phone call from The Warden about an issue. He said that the track pad on his Mac wasn't functioning properly. The track pad (for those of you wondering) is the little square on a MacBook laptop that serves as the mouse. He said that he was going to the Apple store to have them look at it. Although the entire contents of the video and the software needed to complete the video were on the laptop, I wasn't too concerned about the situation as it was just the track pad malfunctioning. Or so I thought.
So now I have taken my lunch break a little early to go to the mall, right before Christmas, and hang out in the most populated store, the Apple store. I make my appointment with the Genius Bar and this little kid comes out to help me. This kid looked like Peter Parker and acted like PeeWee Herman. They asked me what the problem was. I explained and then they ran some tests. The kid said that the track pad wasn’t working (no shit) and that my Mac is no longer under warranty. He explained and that I would have to buy a mouse for $40 or I can replace the track pad for $80.
He got a mouse and plugged it in only to find out that the mouse wasn’t clicking either…WTF?! So, PeeWee Parker took my Mac back into the back to run more test. When he came out he said that for the mouse to work, they would have to shut off the track pad completely. I agreed for him to turn the track pad off and send me on my way. Knowing that I had a bluetooth mouse back at home that I could go and get, I headed that way so I could start using my Mac and get back to the LBB video.
After lunch, I spoke with The Warden about the laptop and things had not improved. He tried to inform me what was going on, but when it comes to computer stuff, I don't speak the lingo very well. All I gathered from the conversation was the computer was still not working and The Warden was headed back to the Apple store.
I get home, grab my mouse and start to sync my mouse up to my laptop. But, I can’t use my track pad so I can’t hook up my mouse. I then realize that I have to go back to the Apple store to use a mouse to get this hooked up. I hop in my ride and head back. When I get there I don’t even talk to anyone, I just go up to a Mac that has a mouse, unplug the mouse and plug it into mine. I set up my bluetooth mouse then I jet!
The Warden calls me and says that he just left the Apple store and all systems were go. Immediately it felt like a huge weight was lifted off me as the fate of our company is riding squarely on this video. Things are good, I finally relax. At least for a little while.
I went to go and visit some of my INMATES up at Social 121 to drop off some bar keys. When I got there they handed me a shot of Rumple and my normal Stoli and soda. So I decide to grab my Mac and do a little work at the bar. When I open up my computer and get it going I soon find out that my keyboard does not work at all. So now I am stuck with a Mac that has a functioning mouse but I can’t type anything or use any of my commands.
I left work around 6:15 p.m. and got a call from The Warden. Guess what?! He was going back to the Apple store. That makes a hat-trick of trips to Apple in one day. I began to wonder if I was being punked. But, there was no Ashton Kutcher. Nor were there any camera crews popping out of nowhere like Vietcong soldiers in 'Nam. Oh no. And just like plot of The Blair Witch Project, the laptop situation grew worse with each passing minute.
In fact, the status of the laptop situation was elevated to code red. The Warden and I were doing our best to keep our composure. However, all I could focus on was that of all the times for a computer to act up, it happens a few days before the biggest deadline of our lives. With that in mind, The Warden returned to the Apple store while I waited on pins and needles for an update.
I take the shot, suck the Stoli and soda down, jump in my ride and head back to the Apple store (AGAIN) before they close. Luckily, once at the Apple store, they were able to get my keyboard functioning properly. I'm not sure what time I ended up leaving, but I do know that I spent my whole day dealing with the laptop situation - three trips to the Apple store during the busiest shopping season of the year left me in serious need of alcohol. I called The Lawyer and let him know that we are good and that I'd meet him at the bar in 15 minutes.
I got the call around 8:00 p.m. and The Warden said that finally, everything was working properly. I let out a huge sigh of relief. That past two hours were spent wondering how we were going to explain the mishap to the liquor company and questioning whether or not they'd be understaning and, more importanly, wondering if they would still give us a chance to redeem ourselves. Anyway, I could tell by the sound in his voice that the laptop situation rendered The Warden weak and in critical need of rumple. We made plans to meet at a bar and drink the day into oblivion. Never a dull moment for The Parole Board.
Perks of the Job
One of the best perks of running Life Behind Bars is meeting so many great people. The INMATES are awesome. And when it comes to drinking, they throw down. On Wednesday night, The Warden and I planned to visit a few INMATES at their bars.
We started at Whiskey Cake in Plano around 8:00 p.m. Joanna Howard was bartending and The Warden and I began drinking face eraser shots (mind eraser - sub rumple for vodka). After a couple of those, we proceeded into Addison. The first stop once we were there was The Muckey Duck (formerly Zen). Justin Foster was behind the bar, which always makes for an amusing bar experience. For those of you that aren't in the know, Justin is a comedian. Naturally, we had several laughs. And, another face eraser.
After that, we headed over to Champps to see Alexis Rolon. She proceeded to buy us another face eraser. She's cool like that. Another INMATE, Skylar Rain, who is new to LBB, met us at Champps. Unfortunately, I cannot recall whether or not he had a face eraser. I know that he had a shot, but my memory fails me as to what kind of shot it was. Or, perhaps it's not so much the memory failing as the alcohol working.
The next stop was Dukes Original Roadhouse, where the Mendoza sisters were working. A large group of INMATES were rioting (partying) there, so we wanted to join in the festivities. By the time we arrived, the party had already departed. We spoke with Melissa Mendoza and she said the group relocated to The Back 9. Shockingly, we didn't have a shot Dukes.
The Back 9 was the last stop of the evening, where INMATE Michael "Lucky" Peters was tending bar. When The Warden and I strolled through the door, there were approximately 20 INMATES boozing it up. It's hard to describe the atmosphere, but picture some kind of reunion party, where people haven't seen each other in a long time. That's a perfect excuse to drink excessively and act a fool. The only thing is, the INMATES see each other all the time! The INMATES just know how to have a great time..night after night. And they wasted no time buying us shots so that we could partake in those reindeer games.
Before I knew it, everyone was feeling toasty and crazy shit was happening. The Warden was absolutely smashed and walking around with a scarf covering his face, thus giving a new meaning to face eraser; Danille Pirtle was asked to leave because she couldn't keep her head up, so we had to carry her to a car so she could sleep; Alexis and I were judging a bikini contest; and AJ Hammel passed out, pissed himself and was surrounded by people in panda bear costumes. All in all, it was a great night. I love the INMATES!
We started at Whiskey Cake in Plano around 8:00 p.m. Joanna Howard was bartending and The Warden and I began drinking face eraser shots (mind eraser - sub rumple for vodka). After a couple of those, we proceeded into Addison. The first stop once we were there was The Muckey Duck (formerly Zen). Justin Foster was behind the bar, which always makes for an amusing bar experience. For those of you that aren't in the know, Justin is a comedian. Naturally, we had several laughs. And, another face eraser.
After that, we headed over to Champps to see Alexis Rolon. She proceeded to buy us another face eraser. She's cool like that. Another INMATE, Skylar Rain, who is new to LBB, met us at Champps. Unfortunately, I cannot recall whether or not he had a face eraser. I know that he had a shot, but my memory fails me as to what kind of shot it was. Or, perhaps it's not so much the memory failing as the alcohol working.
The next stop was Dukes Original Roadhouse, where the Mendoza sisters were working. A large group of INMATES were rioting (partying) there, so we wanted to join in the festivities. By the time we arrived, the party had already departed. We spoke with Melissa Mendoza and she said the group relocated to The Back 9. Shockingly, we didn't have a shot Dukes.
The Back 9 was the last stop of the evening, where INMATE Michael "Lucky" Peters was tending bar. When The Warden and I strolled through the door, there were approximately 20 INMATES boozing it up. It's hard to describe the atmosphere, but picture some kind of reunion party, where people haven't seen each other in a long time. That's a perfect excuse to drink excessively and act a fool. The only thing is, the INMATES see each other all the time! The INMATES just know how to have a great time..night after night. And they wasted no time buying us shots so that we could partake in those reindeer games.
Before I knew it, everyone was feeling toasty and crazy shit was happening. The Warden was absolutely smashed and walking around with a scarf covering his face, thus giving a new meaning to face eraser; Danille Pirtle was asked to leave because she couldn't keep her head up, so we had to carry her to a car so she could sleep; Alexis and I were judging a bikini contest; and AJ Hammel passed out, pissed himself and was surrounded by people in panda bear costumes. All in all, it was a great night. I love the INMATES!
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